So I got block down for what I wanted. This is something that is not easy to go by. Today, as I was going home, something hit me. My mind started to flashback all the things that happened. And I said to myself that I think that this is not for me. That I don't deserve this. But, something butted in my mind. It's my subconscious. It started to fight my bad thoughts and stop the flashback. Then I was talking to myself in my brain.
"Look Jasper, it is not yet for you at this age. It is hard when you are young. And it will get easier when you age. At this point of 18, there are still many things that will happen to you. With around 60 - 80 more years of life, or maybe earlier. We are still not certain of what will happen to us in the future. Something that you are expecting and something that you never intercepted that it will happen. So at this young age, just be patient. The quotations "Patience is a virtue" and "Good things come to those who wait" are very good quotations. But of what do they really mean? You already proved what they mean and gathered the prizes already. You are already bathing in those hard earned prizes. How did you prove those quotes already if you're not waiting for something? Not literally waiting for something. Patience comes in may ways; Some is waiting, some is forgiveness and some if for repetitive movement. And the form of patience that you proved already is the repetitive movement. Think of it that everyday you do the same thing. Go to school and attend class. Eat lunch and hang out with your friends. Seatworks and notes are written. Dates are scribbled and inks are used. After the day at school, study, homework, project and write here, write there. And finally, do some fun! Don't you realize that you are doing the same thing everyday without hesitation? It's because we are being patient! That's the main point of why we are doing things repeatedly redundant! And still here we are, doing the same thing over and over again. Then we can decide to do something different. It's still the same thing! Because we wanted to discover or learn. We learn and discover everyday so the cycle begins again! Isn't having patience beautiful? And your prize will be arriving at you. You will not go to the prize, the prize will go to you because you are being patient.
Now what does this relate to "It"? Well, this kind of patience is the patience of waiting. 18 years old doesn't have to be the end of everything when you are turned down. But at these times, thinking clearly is not easy. Clearly, it's not easy at these times. So that happened, it slowly broke down of what you believe in that thing "forever" from solid as a block to an air as evaporated."
So, when I was writing my list of goals in life. You will notice and see that it's not in the list of life goals. Well, not anymore...